When a relationship ends, especially if you're not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you've been with someone for 3 years, it's hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.
When you're wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn't always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you've bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.
If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you're probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.
Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it's one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.
If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.
A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Discover How I Got My Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps
Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship
was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship
. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
1.Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship
.Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3.Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship
was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship
. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
1.Say sorry
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship
.Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3.Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
How To Best Win Back Lost Love
If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.
If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)
When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship
, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.
But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.
If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)
When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.
If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship
, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.
But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.
Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Get Guy Back After a Breakup
It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get guy back.
Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.
With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.
The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.
If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.
The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.
If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.
When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.
As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.
Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.
With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.
The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.
If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.
The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.
If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.
When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.
As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together
If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.
In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.
Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.
Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.
If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.
If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.
In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.
Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.
Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.
If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.
If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips
It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It's not really our fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup. Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.
1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have to be willing to be strong.
Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down. You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.
2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.
Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day. Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.
3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.
4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.
5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.
Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.
These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship
How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship? Here are some clues:
· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
· Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
· You have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.
But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship
or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship
and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship
, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”
If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship
is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
· Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
· You have changed things about yourself to please them.
Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them. So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship? Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?
A toxic relationship has a cycle. There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.
When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage. It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship. At that point, it is difficult to get out.
One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes. As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it. And, they may not know any better. Others believe they do not deserve happiness. Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.
But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.
Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself. In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault. Once you buy into this, it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship
or set new limits that can heal the relationship.
For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.
But others are actually able to repair their relationship
and stay in it.
The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged. Sometimes it takes a little space. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away. If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.
Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship
, you can start to assert what you need from the connection. Don’t nag the other person. Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”
If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.
A healthy relationship
is a two way street. In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way. You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.
7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair
How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.
Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.
What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?
You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.
What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?
You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment
Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it. In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
-Oprah Winfrey
"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins
"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn
"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain
"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle
"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller
"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill
"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran
"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm
"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat
"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey
"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin
"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers
There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you.
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
-Oprah Winfrey
"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins
"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn
"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss
"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain
"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle
"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller
"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill
"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran
"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm
"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat
"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey
"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin
"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers
There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?
Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.
How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.
Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.
The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.
Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.
A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.
It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.
Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.
So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.
How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.
Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.
Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.
The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.
Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.
Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.
A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.
But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.
It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.
Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.
So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Finding Online Love 2
This is going to be the second part to my Finding Online Love postings. I hope that through these articles that I can provide to you some insight on the things that I found when I was searching out Love Online.
There are many reasons for using the online medium for your search. And I am proof that not only can you find love but I will tell you how I did it. And I found the most wonderful woman my wife.
When you find a personals site that you wish to search for love on, a few of the things you need to do is.
Set up a new email account that you will use just for this purpose.
And sign-up with an account and make a profile.
I will walk you through the profile process here there are a few things that will raise the number of replies that you will get to your interest request some of these things will increase your replies by over six hundred percent.
Ok next thing you want to do and understand this in these days of internet fraud and people out there just looking for take others for what ever it is that they can get. You do not need to be defensive but smart about the amount of information it is that you put out there. At least until you truly feel comfortable with the person that you decide is the one that you wish to pursue this with and learn as your relationship grows.
That being said use a screen name at first try to make it original something that is catchy and will attract attention to your profile. Be general about personal information,But be honest what i mean is do not stretch the truth to much. Be yourself in the long run it will bring to you the type of relationship that you desire.
Now go to your collection of pictures of yourself if you do have one just have a friend take a few of you. Choose one that best shows you in the type of light you wish to be seen. Remember this first impressions are lasting so if you do not have a picture that you like of yourself then take a few new ones and pick the best one and use that. Do not worry about being it perfect none of us are we all have our flaws that is what makes us individuals. I cannot say this enough just be yourself.
And when it comes to what you are looking for in a mate just tell them your likes your dislikes what your idea of a great first date would be like. And about you if you like to cook or ski or what ever it is that you enjoy let your potential mate know about you so that they can get a small picture of the type of person that you are and are looking for.
In my next posting I will get into some of the things to look for in potential future mates in there profiles how to seperate the true relationship seekers from the cons.
There are many reasons for using the online medium for your search. And I am proof that not only can you find love but I will tell you how I did it. And I found the most wonderful woman my wife.
When you find a personals site that you wish to search for love on, a few of the things you need to do is.
Set up a new email account that you will use just for this purpose.
And sign-up with an account and make a profile.
I will walk you through the profile process here there are a few things that will raise the number of replies that you will get to your interest request some of these things will increase your replies by over six hundred percent.
Ok next thing you want to do and understand this in these days of internet fraud and people out there just looking for take others for what ever it is that they can get. You do not need to be defensive but smart about the amount of information it is that you put out there. At least until you truly feel comfortable with the person that you decide is the one that you wish to pursue this with and learn as your relationship grows.
That being said use a screen name at first try to make it original something that is catchy and will attract attention to your profile. Be general about personal information,But be honest what i mean is do not stretch the truth to much. Be yourself in the long run it will bring to you the type of relationship that you desire.
Now go to your collection of pictures of yourself if you do have one just have a friend take a few of you. Choose one that best shows you in the type of light you wish to be seen. Remember this first impressions are lasting so if you do not have a picture that you like of yourself then take a few new ones and pick the best one and use that. Do not worry about being it perfect none of us are we all have our flaws that is what makes us individuals. I cannot say this enough just be yourself.
And when it comes to what you are looking for in a mate just tell them your likes your dislikes what your idea of a great first date would be like. And about you if you like to cook or ski or what ever it is that you enjoy let your potential mate know about you so that they can get a small picture of the type of person that you are and are looking for.
In my next posting I will get into some of the things to look for in potential future mates in there profiles how to seperate the true relationship seekers from the cons.
How A Rebound Relationship Can Work In Your Favor
If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?
A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.
And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.
It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.
If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.
The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.
If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.
Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.
That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.
Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:
Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.
Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.
Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.
Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.
Never, ever beg her to take you back.
When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.
A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.
And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.
It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.
If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.
The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.
If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.
Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.
That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.
Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:
Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.
Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.
Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.
Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.
Never, ever beg her to take you back.
When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.
I thought that a few letters from people that we have helped here would give you all a little insite. So I have added this short video from TW where he reads a few of the many people that he has helped either get there ex back or rekindle there relationships with there loved one. I hope that you find this short clip as interesting as I do and it helps you on your path to regaining your happiness in your relationship.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Does your to-do list look something like this:
· Walk dog
· Water plants
· Break up with significant other
Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.
Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.
Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”
How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?
You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.
Get into a state of compassion when ending a relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.
Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.
Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.
Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.
Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”
That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.
However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.
· Walk dog
· Water plants
· Break up with significant other
Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.
Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.
Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”
How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?
You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.
Get into a state of compassion when ending a relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.
Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.
Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.
Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.
Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”
That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.
However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You
If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?
In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…
First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?
Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.
Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.
Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.
For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?
Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.
There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.
Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?
In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…
First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?
Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.
Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.
Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.
For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?
Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.
There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.
Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Advice on Relationships How to Keep a Woman Happy
Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.
The first advice on relationship item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationship comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T W Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.
You might want to check out "The Magic Of Making Up" yourself.
The first advice on relationship item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationship comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T W Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.
You might want to check out "The Magic Of Making Up" yourself.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Finding Online Love!
I can tell you from my own experience It is not only possible but with the advent of the internet it has brought a whole new world of potential mates to your finger tips.I am going to make this a series of articles on this subject because it will take alot to explain some of the in's and outs of meeting your next love online.
Let me start with a short story of what it is that I am talking about. Back a few years ago I had just found myself after a six year relationship sitting alone, single and feeling pretty down about my chances of finding someone new.
You know that feeling when after you have had a breakup and you feel that you will never be able to find another to replace your lost love. Well let me tell you that is not true at all. You cannot only replace them, but often as I found meet another that will soon make you wonder why you were so worried about it in the first place.
So late one night I was browsing the net and found myself in google search typing terms like lost love, get your ex back and i kept seeing the same advertizment coming up. It went something like get your ex back "The Magic Of Making Up."
So hoping like we all do for that magic solution to my woes I clicked on the add and it was truly one of the best decisions that I have made in a long time. It talked about the whys and how's of breakups and how to not only get your love back but how to move on after you split and open yourself to new people.
And know that unlike that feeling that you have now you are not alone in this feeling. That many others have and are experiencing the exact same feelings with you.
So I put into action a few of the ideas that I read. One thing that I did was to go to a well known personals site and start looking for ladies that iterested me. Now I am not here to tell you what it is that interest different people there are many factors to our choosing a partner so be open to new and different people.
My best advice is take kind of a business approach to it and in business volume is the key, so find ten to twenty people that interest you and send them all a short note saying what it is that you are there for and what you are looking for in a potential mate put a little of your personality in there and await a reply.
By sending out so many I know that you are going to think what is this speed dating or something. No it is not, with volume you will do a few things at once. It will help a great deal with those feelings that I just spoke of in the way of letting you know that yes there are others out there interested and yes you will meet many interesting and great people through the course of these articles.
And I hope with some of what I will tell you will like I have, find your one true love. As I have in my wife and find the happiness that I enjoy everytime that I look into the eyes of my two wonderful sons.
If you to are interested in learning the great advice that I gained from TW Jackson in his "The Magic Of Making Up."take a look it is filled with so much information on relationships.
Let me start with a short story of what it is that I am talking about. Back a few years ago I had just found myself after a six year relationship sitting alone, single and feeling pretty down about my chances of finding someone new.
You know that feeling when after you have had a breakup and you feel that you will never be able to find another to replace your lost love. Well let me tell you that is not true at all. You cannot only replace them, but often as I found meet another that will soon make you wonder why you were so worried about it in the first place.
So late one night I was browsing the net and found myself in google search typing terms like lost love, get your ex back and i kept seeing the same advertizment coming up. It went something like get your ex back "The Magic Of Making Up."
So hoping like we all do for that magic solution to my woes I clicked on the add and it was truly one of the best decisions that I have made in a long time. It talked about the whys and how's of breakups and how to not only get your love back but how to move on after you split and open yourself to new people.
And know that unlike that feeling that you have now you are not alone in this feeling. That many others have and are experiencing the exact same feelings with you.
So I put into action a few of the ideas that I read. One thing that I did was to go to a well known personals site and start looking for ladies that iterested me. Now I am not here to tell you what it is that interest different people there are many factors to our choosing a partner so be open to new and different people.
My best advice is take kind of a business approach to it and in business volume is the key, so find ten to twenty people that interest you and send them all a short note saying what it is that you are there for and what you are looking for in a potential mate put a little of your personality in there and await a reply.
By sending out so many I know that you are going to think what is this speed dating or something. No it is not, with volume you will do a few things at once. It will help a great deal with those feelings that I just spoke of in the way of letting you know that yes there are others out there interested and yes you will meet many interesting and great people through the course of these articles.
And I hope with some of what I will tell you will like I have, find your one true love. As I have in my wife and find the happiness that I enjoy everytime that I look into the eyes of my two wonderful sons.
If you to are interested in learning the great advice that I gained from TW Jackson in his "The Magic Of Making Up."take a look it is filled with so much information on relationships.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Learn How to Get Him Back
Are you yearning for the good old days and hoping to rekindle a lost romance? Are you interested in giving a tumultuous relationship another chance? Follow these steps detailed below and you can learn how to get him back.
1 - Keep in mind, first and foremost, that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything, but rather start things off with a simple small whenever you pass your ex, or waving and saying hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this.
2 - Try slowly implementing conversation in again, making an attempt to talk to him when you can. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite a bit appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well.
3 - Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good, and smell good, and that you keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself and your body which is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4 - Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to get him back.
Try to become your ex's friend first and foremost, because if he wants you back, he will eventually let you know. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. These are the steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
1 - Keep in mind, first and foremost, that patience is a virtue. Do not rush anything, but rather start things off with a simple small whenever you pass your ex, or waving and saying hello every so often. You should maintain eye contact so that he knows you are communicating with him and not with somebody else, but do not let it go much further than this.
2 - Try slowly implementing conversation in again, making an attempt to talk to him when you can. Remember that you should keep your conversation brief, and rather basic in nature. Do not reveal too much, because mystery is actually quite a bit appealing for many men. Also, if you run into him at a party or a social gathering, if your friends come into the room, you may consider stopping the conversation to return to them. This will let him know that while the communication between the two of you is nice, he is not your highest priority right now. Don't be afraid to flirt a little bit here and there as well.
3 - Keep things fresh. Make sure that you look good, and smell good, and that you keep things changed up on a fairly regular basis in order to keep him interested in you. You should put some thought into your appearance because maintaining your good looks will show confidence and respect for yourself and your body which is something that most men find quite sexy and attractive.
4 - Don't be afraid to throw a few honest compliments out there every so often. You are going to want to make sure that your ex feels good any time he is around you if you really want to get your ex back. Talk about the good times that you and he spent together, bringing up good memories from the past. Help him remember some of the best highlights from the days of your relationship and enjoy the reminiscing while simultaneously working to get him back.
Try to become your ex's friend first and foremost, because if he wants you back, he will eventually let you know. Be his friend, open up to him, show him a nice time, and if his feelings for you are rekindled, he will let you know. Take things slowly and don't act too needy. Instead, just play it cool and let him come to you. If things are meant to be, they will be, and you will learn how to get him back through the process.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. These are the steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
Learn How To Get Her Back
If you really think that you and your ex are meant to get back together, then you need to learn how to get her back. Learning how to get her back is not necessarily difficult, but it does take some thinking and some planning if you really do want to get the results you seek.
1 - Though it may seem counterintuitive when rekindling the relationship is what you seek, if you want to learn how to get her back you need to begin by cutting off communication for a while. This is going to be tough, and it may even feel as if it is killing you, but it will be killing her even more. After a little bit of time she will begin to realize how much she really needs you, and how much she desperately misses you. Cutting off communication is one of the biggest and most vital steps in rekindling things with your ex.
2 - Allow yourself to recover emotionally. If you want to learn how to get her back, you need to take the time to become emotionally controlled and calmed down. Women dislike me who are desperate, clingy or needy, so pull your life together and get over those feelings long before you consider trying to draw her back in to your life.
3 - Flirt with someone new. This is another step that may seem counterintuitive in nature, but it is extremely useful if you are trying to learn how to get her back. Start talking to another girl, because it will be too much for your ex to bear. Not only will this benefit you because it will take some of your stress away, but it will also let your ex girlfriend know that you are moving on, which will make her jealous and cause her to realize how much she really wants to be with you.
4 - Behave as if nothing is bothering you. In other words, if you want to learn how to get her back, you need to play it cool. She is not going to want to take you back if you are feeling and behaving depressed. You need to make sure that you are behaving as if you are having a good time, overcoming the break up depression to let her know that everything is okay.
5 - Always look your best. Make sure that you are dressed to kill and look your best all the time. She won't be able to resist you, hands down. Appearance can play a large role in showing your ex that you're moving on and look great. If you look great and take the time to look your best, your ex will notice, and will respond positively.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
1 - Though it may seem counterintuitive when rekindling the relationship is what you seek, if you want to learn how to get her back you need to begin by cutting off communication for a while. This is going to be tough, and it may even feel as if it is killing you, but it will be killing her even more. After a little bit of time she will begin to realize how much she really needs you, and how much she desperately misses you. Cutting off communication is one of the biggest and most vital steps in rekindling things with your ex.
2 - Allow yourself to recover emotionally. If you want to learn how to get her back, you need to take the time to become emotionally controlled and calmed down. Women dislike me who are desperate, clingy or needy, so pull your life together and get over those feelings long before you consider trying to draw her back in to your life.
3 - Flirt with someone new. This is another step that may seem counterintuitive in nature, but it is extremely useful if you are trying to learn how to get her back. Start talking to another girl, because it will be too much for your ex to bear. Not only will this benefit you because it will take some of your stress away, but it will also let your ex girlfriend know that you are moving on, which will make her jealous and cause her to realize how much she really wants to be with you.
4 - Behave as if nothing is bothering you. In other words, if you want to learn how to get her back, you need to play it cool. She is not going to want to take you back if you are feeling and behaving depressed. You need to make sure that you are behaving as if you are having a good time, overcoming the break up depression to let her know that everything is okay.
5 - Always look your best. Make sure that you are dressed to kill and look your best all the time. She won't be able to resist you, hands down. Appearance can play a large role in showing your ex that you're moving on and look great. If you look great and take the time to look your best, your ex will notice, and will respond positively.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back in Five Steps
If you really want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, there are a number of steps that you can follow to have more success than if you just wing it and hope for the best. Breakups happen, but they do not necessarily have to be forever. Here are five steps that will allow you to subtlety let your ex girlfriend know that you're still interested in being a fixture in her life, so that you can potentially rekindle things in the right away.
5 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, start by reaching out and touching her. Playing too hard to get is not the best way to approach this, though communication should be scaled back. Reach out to her and let her know subtlety that you are still interested in being a part of her life.
4 - Drop her an e-mail to keep in touch. If you do not find casual, easy going methods of communication with your ex, you will never be able to get her back. Staying in touch is absolutely vital, but keep it to casual messages like "Hey, what's up?" rather than overwhelming her inbox with love poetry.
3 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, stay away from other girls. Sure, she may be understanding enough to let it slide if you begin to peruse other "prospects", but if you want to get your girlfriend back, stay away from other ladies.
2 - Remember the important things. Part of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back means treating your girl like a princess. One of the easiest ways to do this is to show her that you care by remembering the most important anniversaries and dates in her life. Send her a card on her birthday, and let her know you're thinking about her in a harmless and positive way.
1 - Call and text, but use discretion when reaching out to her. You should not be afraid to send your ex girlfriend a text message, or drop her a line here and there. Uncertainty is something that should be avoided in life and love, so call her up and let her know what's going on so that she knows where you are and what you're doing, and doesn't have to imagine that you're out having fun without her, or with another woman. Let her know you care, and that you still think about her. If she knows she's still in your thoughts so frequently, it will contribute heavily to how quickly she will want to rekindle things with you.
There is no exact process or science to the process of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, but there are some pretty clear cut suggestions out there that will steer you in the right direction. Obviously maintaining contact and communication is absolutely vital to the rekindling process, but do not over do it, otherwise you may scare her away.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "Magic Of Making Up!". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
5 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, start by reaching out and touching her. Playing too hard to get is not the best way to approach this, though communication should be scaled back. Reach out to her and let her know subtlety that you are still interested in being a part of her life.
4 - Drop her an e-mail to keep in touch. If you do not find casual, easy going methods of communication with your ex, you will never be able to get her back. Staying in touch is absolutely vital, but keep it to casual messages like "Hey, what's up?" rather than overwhelming her inbox with love poetry.
3 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, stay away from other girls. Sure, she may be understanding enough to let it slide if you begin to peruse other "prospects", but if you want to get your girlfriend back, stay away from other ladies.
2 - Remember the important things. Part of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back means treating your girl like a princess. One of the easiest ways to do this is to show her that you care by remembering the most important anniversaries and dates in her life. Send her a card on her birthday, and let her know you're thinking about her in a harmless and positive way.
1 - Call and text, but use discretion when reaching out to her. You should not be afraid to send your ex girlfriend a text message, or drop her a line here and there. Uncertainty is something that should be avoided in life and love, so call her up and let her know what's going on so that she knows where you are and what you're doing, and doesn't have to imagine that you're out having fun without her, or with another woman. Let her know you care, and that you still think about her. If she knows she's still in your thoughts so frequently, it will contribute heavily to how quickly she will want to rekindle things with you.
There is no exact process or science to the process of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, but there are some pretty clear cut suggestions out there that will steer you in the right direction. Obviously maintaining contact and communication is absolutely vital to the rekindling process, but do not over do it, otherwise you may scare her away.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "Magic Of Making Up!". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
How to Get My Ex Back When He Has Moved On
Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you.
1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.
2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.
3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.
4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.
6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way.
7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "Magic Of Making Up!". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.
2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.
3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.
4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.
5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.
6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way.
7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "Magic Of Making Up!". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
How to get your ex back and survive a break up (LDR)
For more information on T W Jacksons unique solutions on relationships, and dealing with a break-up. You will find this the best few minutes spent Magic Of Making Up!. This helped me and I know that it will help you too.
How To Get My Ex back If He Wants More Space
Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.
- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.
- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.
- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.
- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.
- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.
- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.
- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.
- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.
- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T W Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
T W authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
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